It’s no easy task to reduce conflict.
Reducing conflict and building better relationships is at the core of being human. I’m sure it’s been around since the dawn of time.
Within the family or corporate dynamic, we are sure to come across times of chaos, moments of irrational communication or situations that bring about the most flared of tempers.
How we are able to work through those times, are the building blocks to creating adaptable families and organizations. How we are able to work through the tough times is what shows the resilience. In fact, coming out on the other side of challenge to achieve a new sense of relationship harmony is a rejuvenating and loving experience.
Let’s look at three ways that we can get on track, to greater levels of resilience and flow, when things seem to go awry.
1) Stop talking: under the conditions of conflict, most people are trying to hold and defend their position. In this guarded state, it’s near impossible to be able to hear or be heard. It’s essential that we take a moment to actually create a space of silence in order to tame tempers, reduce mental irrationality and open up to giving to the group in a healthy and constructive way.
2) Ask New Questions: once the space has been created by the silence, it opens an opportunity where we can ask better and more resourceful questions. What’s really going on? What happening here? Where are we missing each other? How can we open up to hearing each other’s challenge? If we don’t ask new questions, we will only continue to look to defend our current position, and the opportunity to go to a higher level of ideas, thoughts, or actions is not going to happen.
3) Discover the common thread: Within the group or between individuals, there is most often an underlying objective that is driving the behaviour. Even so, what’s really driving people may be more closely connected that everyone thinks. The actual needs of human beings are feeling validated, loved, appreciated, connected, and when we don’t feel these things, we can create tension and conflict to be heard. Take a good look if you can identify the common bond that already exists and build on that.
So in summary, best practices to reduce conflict and build better relationships are, stop talking, ask new questions and discover the common objective and bond.
Best foot forward,
Dr. Steve
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