Allow me to abruptly save you time.
- Every action you take has an element of selfishness wrapped within it.
- Every action you take (meaning all the time you spend) is to fulfill something FOR you.
Therefore,
Every time you drive your kid to the mall instead of getting the laundry done, there is an element of self reward.
Every time you skip a long bath and instead go and visit a sick relative, there is an element of self reward.
Every time you pass on the date because you think you are the only one who can put your child to bed, there is an element of self reward.
Every time you pass on the 15 minute cuddle with your partner to finish the dishes, there is an element of self reward.
Every time you go grab a quick coffee because someone asked you too, and skip the gym workout, there is an element of self reward.
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Every action you take has self reward.
Every action you take, has been made by you through a decision making process of what is most important to you at the time, and what will give you the most advantage.
You are an expression of your identity and highest value, therefore, are constantly negotiating with your environment to accomplish what is truly most important to you.
If you identify as A GOOD FRIEND more than as an ATHLETE, you will go for the coffee every time, and skip the workout with innumerable justifications that ALL MAKE SENSE to you.
You relentlessly beat yourself up, call yourself a self sabotager, and frustrate yourself for ‘bad behaviour’ by NOT UNDERSTANDING these simple principles of human behaviour, and understanding who you are.
Instead of appreciating your life and designing it around who you are, you get frustrated and resentful for a version of you that doesn’t even exist…yet you are expecting yourself to be someone you are not.
“But doc, you don’t understand the demands others place on me for my time”.
Yes I do, and I know that every action you take helps to solidify and satisfy ‘who you are as an identity’. I’ve done this with hundreds and hundreds of clients, and when we map out all the activities that they do in a day or week, they see that the actions they take, the priorities they make, the allocation of their time, ALL revolves around their highest values.
Bottom line, is you do what you value…and you value things according to your identity.
Please start valuing you for you.
Dr. Steve
P.S: That is why I mentor people through healing relationships. Because self mastery, health and healing, and family are my top 3 values…and I can save you a wackload of time and needless suffering because I have a level of mastery to SERVE YOU. To schedule a Discovery Call with me, click here.
